Lights & Memories: Healing Through Holiday Tradition
DECEMBER 4, 2024
In the past few years, I have begun to be excited about Christmas again. Our small family had a tradition that started with my grandmother, whom we affectionately called Lovely. She loved Christmas; we would decorate the tree with her yearly. She would pull an old box tree out of the basement and decorations from storage bins. The only new thing was tinsel; she would replace light bulbs when needed. The time we spent decorating the tree together holds a special place in my heart.
It would be a time to prep food and attend the Christmas Eve service at our church. One thing that my Lovely would do is designate Thanksgiving or Christmas as a traditional holiday meal. If we had a massive spread for Thanksgiving, we'd forego that for something non-traditional for Christmas or vice versa. I remember spreads of appetizer-type foods. No matter the menu, the time together was well spent and deeply appreciated.
In 2006, my grandmother was killed in a hit-and-run car accident at the young age of 48. She was the matriarch of our family, and we were devastated by her sudden loss. She was struck by a car illegally being pursued in a high-risk chase in a neighborhood. At the hospital, we found negligence in treating her injuries and missing pages of her autopsy. Justice was deprived for a person of color; hospital staff ignored internal injuries and police officials' negligent pursuit.
For years after, we lost the joy of Christmas. The holiday season became a painful reminder of her absence. Until recently, we began reclaiming the season's meaning, focusing on fellowship and the "reason for the season" - the birth of Jesus, as my Lovely holiday voicemail greeting would say. A few years before her passing, she led us all to a church she had recently become a member of, and we soon came to salvation, got baptized, and became members as well. I believe that was an immeasurable gift she could have given us before passing away.
We slowly reinhabited our traditions, decorating the tree and having non-traditional meals. Like the light bulbs she would replace, we would shine in her place, reflecting the values she instilled and the faith she led us to. We understood that while she could never be replaced, her legacy would continue through us.
I pray this Christmas season comforts those with empty spaces from loved ones, especially if joyous memories aren’t quite a reality yet. May God bless you all because Jesus is the reason for the season. Merry Christmas, McCormick Family!
Author:
TaKeena Cochren
MDIV, McCormick Theological Seminary