Through my African Eyes: A Tribute to a Mother

03-09-2022

By Stephen Apollo

As you may well know, March 8 was International Women's Day, a global day that celebrates the social, economic, cultural, and political milestones of women. As I thought about the day, I fondly remembered my own mother who just turned 70! We grew up with an absent dad, who did not really care about any of us for many years. We saw him mistreat my mother in very painful ways and he literally forsook all his fatherly roles. Even so, she went through that horrible experience with great fortitude and with much love, commitment, and hard work, she single- handedly brought up six of us. In a country where education was not free, she was able to educate all of us up to post-high school level, even with very meager resources. For thirty-three years, she worked as a cook in a seminary in my town, which is now known as St. Paul’s University. To be frank with you, I cannot tell how she made it through, but one thing I know, her dependence and trust in God was immovable.

My mother embodies what hard work, love, commitment, care, and proper upbringing of children really means. I used to pray that God will give me a wife who is like my mother.

Materially, we did not have much but our house was warm and full of laughter. I did not hear her complain even a single day. She kept a huge smile all through and she taught us that joy and happiness are not dependent on external circumstances. She taught us the value of handwork and commitment. We grew up eating food that we grew in our own garden, and we were all involved in working in the garden. Thanks to our humble background, we may have missed some luxury and comfort growing up, but we never missed important life lessons like respect, dignity, hard work, honesty, generosity, and godliness. We did not miss happy family moments and we thankfully acknowledged the fact that she did her best to give us the best she could. I always looked forward to Christmas because that is the only time she could buy us clothes and shoes.

I still remember most of the lessons she taught us which I try to teach my own children. One of the lessons she taught us is, “generosity comes from the heart and not the pocket.” A good point in case, them days mothers used to cook a lot of tea which they would keep in a thermos flask to keep it warm. One day I asked her why she was cooking a lot tea more than we needed, to which she replied, “You never know, a thirsty person may pass by!” My mother taught us how to be kind to others even when you think you do not have enough, because generosity comes from the heart and not the pocket. Most importantly, she taught us to follow God and be committed to his cause. I remember in my Sunday school years in early eighties, we used to walk about 10 miles to and from the nearest Presbyterian Church. My mother taught us to pray. Every experience, pleasing or painful, was a prayer moment to her.

Important to note, because of her huge heart, my mother taught us what true forgiveness and reconciliation means. Shockingly, after years of family absence and mistreatment and like the prodigal son, my dad came back home and my mother willingly forgave him and they were reconciled. Though most of us children were bitter with him, it became easier for the family to be reconciled, because my mother showed us the way. Thankfully, by the time my dad died few years ago, we were all reconciled and healed. My mother likes Proverbs 31 and I have rephrased the chapter as my tribute to her:

A mother of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

She brings her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life.

She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family

She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done,

and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

May God grant my mother, Ruth Njeri Apollo, and indeed all the mothers good health and many more years!