Until When, oh Lord?

04-19-2021

By Maryclare Beche

Today I woke up feeling a deep sense of sadness. “Until when, oh Lord?” is all I could murmur as I sat still at my usual place of prayer. Here, I reflect on the chaos that has been the world of late. The prevalent violence and shooting seems to be a reminder of the work we have to do. This morning, I would like to share the following prayer, remembering families of Daunte Wright, Adam Toledo and the victims of the shooting in Indianapolis and Texas.

A prayer for the days when there is only sadness

Gentle Presence,

Patient Listener,

Holy Holder of it all,

My prayer is this:

I am so sad.

It’s not an ask.

It’s not a confession.

It’s an offering.

The only one I have today.

I’m praying it with hope.

I know grief is a lifeline -

tethering me to the world that should be.

The one worth fighting for.

As a practice of faith,

I will not deaden these feelings

that let me know all is not well.

I will not adjust to cruelty or disregard for life,

detaching myself from humanity - mine or others.

I will not allow once imaginable scenarios

to be turned into everyday losses

that no longer pierce my soul.

And so here are my tears,

And here is my tired body,

And here is my foggy, distracted mind

bearing witness to the place within

that aches for the ones I love,

for friends and strangers,

for everyone being pushed into impossible situations.

My sadness is a testimony.

It is not my only one.

Tomorrow, hope or fight or curiosity

will bear their truth,

and pull me back into the labors I love,

in the company of others.

But today the only riot in me is this sorrow,

refusing to quiet your cry from within:

“We are made for so much better than this.”

- Rev. M Barclay https://enfleshed.com/pages/liturgy-library

Image by Cindy Lever from Pixabay