“A Beautiful Jar in the Process”
10-29-2015
By Isabella Novsima Sinulingga
A Beautiful Jar in the Process
I want to be a resilient jar
But the Potter does not make jars that cannot be cracked.
I want to be a jar with bright colors to compliment
like the color of butterflies and flowers
But the Potter covered me with a variety of colors and chaotic patterns.
I want to set up such a slim pen that is used by teachers to write
But the Potter formed me like a cheap plastic bowl sold in the market.
I want to be a finished beautiful jar
But the Potter is never done with me.
Every time the Potter touches my body
I hope I will soon be finished;
But when She sets up, scrapes, pastes, and repeats again
She makes me feel unfinished:
I think this pattern does not fit; the colors are not supposed to be like that,
this form is not appropriate!
I questioned Her love to me.
I know She is not finished!
Although sometimes I feel abandoned, left alone in uncertainty
But why do I still miss Her coming?
On my waiting, the fragility, colors, patterns, and all of Her settings
become my identity as Her creation
And I love it!
Somehow I began to love the chaotic experience as harmony
Like when I saw Her dancing with the homeless,
Like when I smelled the steam rice She cooks for the street children,
Like when I heard Her serenity in war,
Like when I feel Her embrace for children with intellectual disability,
She gripped their hands!
She is the Best Friend who appreciates every detail.
I was a jar that had been cracked several times and would probably go get cracked again
I was a jar that had a lot of colors and patterns that seemed disharmonious
I was a jar shaped like plastic bowls used by beggars to get a handful of rice
But I am loved by the Potter
I want to love Her by giving myself as She gave herself to the hunger
I want to be filled with milk to pour it for the forgotten
When my body cracked, I hope it is cracked to be parts for other jars
In this way I am experiencing Her love
And I want to love Her more.
Isabella Novsima Sinulingga is a Global Scholar from Indonesia, and is focusing her academic work on exploring disability theology. She is an active member of McCormick’s Global Communities and serves as a deacon for the student body.
