Through My African Eyes: Self Care is not Selfish

09-22-2021

By Stephen Apollo

I grew up in the context of the great African philosophy of ubuntu which captures really well the idea of community in Africa. The mantra of ubuntu is, “I am because we are and because we are I am.” This means that I cannot find my identity and purpose in isolation. Ubuntu is an invitation to shift your focus from what some people call the unholy trinity of ‘I, me and myself’ and place your focus on the needs of other people. I believe this is the spirit captured in Philippians 2:3, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

However, this noble call poses a great risk of one neglecting themselves and getting lost in the world of others. Jesus taught that you should love your neighbor as yourself as the second part of the greatest commandment. However, the dominant interpretation of this verse mainly focuses on the neighbor and it neglects the as yourself part which I believe is an invitation to self-care. As Tony Gaskins reminds us, Jesus did not say love your neighbor instead of yourself! The point here is self-care is the beginning point of the process of loving your neighbor. To serve your neighbor well, you need to take care of yourself well.

I remember we were once asked in class why we are in seminary and all of us had the neighbor in mind in our responses and rightly so. So as we walk in this very rigorous academic journey and as we journey for the neighbor, do not neglect yourself. Set a well-balanced routine and make sure rest is on the list. Be safe and gentle with yourself. You need yourself to serve your neighbor.

“Everybody needs you, but you need you first. Don't help everyone else and neglect yourself. Love your neighbor as you love yourself, not instead of yourself” Tony Gaskins

Photo by Colton Sturgeon on Unsplash